My name is Veronica. My dad was exposed to COVID, and he developed full blown dementia. My mom and dad just celebrated 67 years of marriage. They need each other and my job has become keeping them together as long as I can.
Dementia is a disease you fight every day knowing you will never win. You look for answers where there are none. Let’s be honest, having a family member with dementia is brutal. You feel guilty all the time, and you sometimes look for exuses not to go. I should help mom more. I need to get to the nursing home. Mom’s yard needs mowing. I am about to turn 60, still working full time, and I am just worn out are some I face. Work is an escape so I really don’t want to retire. The list of reasons to feel quilt goes on and on making your head spin.
Dementia is an immediate family disease. If you want to see people disappear, deal with dementia. My mom would have been better off if my dad had terminal cancer. People would fill the house and bring food. It is as if they will only come visit the dying as long as the dying knows they are there. People would have asked my mom if she needed anything and visited her. None of that happens with dementia. It has been my mother, my sister, and myself that continues to show up. My husband doesn’t deal with dad, but helps with my mom and taking care of her property.
IThis blog is to help me have a place to process the last two years of my life.